ATTN: EVERYONE

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

This is your regular medical briefing because some of us still believe in government transparency! :D :D :D

Three news bulletins:

1. So it looks like the Sampire has been repodded. Please welcome our new head of medical, Dr. Faiza Hussain! She's now the person who gets to deal with us, keep us in line, and try to explain the logic behind not using a red cross as a logo because I'm seriously not getting it, man. Is it a copyright issue? Because AFAIK 21st century copyright laws got Ohmified and by that I mean deaded.

2. If you don't present for your physical evaluation, we're going to hunt you down. You can't run. You can't hide. You can only surrender. So do it.

3. WE DISSECTED A SHRIKE AND IT WAS AWESOME. And by awesome I mean freaky because it turns out the thing is still partially alive. The brain was still receiving messages from an external source, leading to increased temperature, trace amounts of blood flow and oh yeah, brain activity. Reminder: this thing was frozen and dead when we started taking it apart. What this signal is or what it is does, and how much danger us noble dissectors were in when we did it, is up to Neuropathy to decide.

So this is your takeaway message: even if an Ohm shrike is dead, it still has an active part of its brain responding to some sort of remote signal.

CREEPY, RIGHT?

This has been your learning moment for the day. If anyone wants to see my incredibly detailed lab notes on the dissection process, including drawings of the Ohm and of Godzilla stomping on NYC, pop on by and I promise to be 50% less of a jackass to you as I usually am. Because science is cool.

Peace out.

Comments

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

If you're game for having me look you over, just let me know when and I'll be there. If you want a nicer medic you'll have to talk to them, but I can promise you quality service free of bullshit.

I actually know a chick who might be able to take a look at your pet. Unfortunately Medical isn't so hot in that regard. You should have seen me freak when my cat was in heat.

...I have no idea what logo we're using but it's probably hard to draw.

[snarkingscribe]

Well, I do appreciate quality service that comes with a lack of bullshit. Though, I gotta ask, just how thorough is this thing? Medical or not, I'm kinda picky about who I strip down for.

Long as we can make sure he's doing good - he's an old dog, though he just got a new brain a little while before I showed up here. Probably needs to be checked and make sure it's adapting well.

So I should chase the complicated logos in the midst of battle for healing then, I take it?

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

You don't got to be naked. And seriously, I will not be interested in you that way. No offense but that is totally not my deal.

Depends! We might take a vote and end up with a blue circle or something.

[snarkingscribe]

I'm just making sure - after my wake-up call here involved impromptu nudity and tentacles...well, I hope you won't blame me for wanting to know what I'm getting into. And no offense taken.

Can't say that a blue circle really screams medical to me, but hey.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

No blame, no shame. At least you're not being argumentative like some jerks around here.

[snarkingscribe]

They've probably got their various reasons for doing so. Just gotta find a way to meet in the middle.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

I'm willing to work around their reasons. I'm just less inclined to do so when they go out of their way to make my life harder.

[snarkingscribe]

Sounds like a fair enough trade-off to me. After all, it's for their own good.